The Path of Spiritual Marriage
When two souls are ideally mated, their love becomes spiritualized and is registered in eternity as the one love of God. - Paramhansa Yogananda from Spiritual Relationships
Beyond all the misconceptions, delusions and myths built up around marriage by the media and popular culture there is hope for a better way. Spiritual marriage is for two individuals each dedicated to living the spiritual life, to walk the spiritual path together in mutual and loving support. To be successful in spiritual marriage we first of all must be willing to do our own spiritual work even when it is not easy. Viewed in this way as an arena for spiritual growth to take place, marriage and family life may be more demanding than the most rigorous of monastic disciplines!
In two new books from Crystal Clarity Publications, Spiritual Relationships and How To Be Happy All the Time, Yogananda offers timeless wisdom on spiritual relationships. Here are a few quotes from both books.
From How to Be Happy All the Time:
“People who actually do find happiness in marriage don’t find their happiness from one another. Always it comes from inside themselves. How sad it is to see the suffering people go through just because they base their expectations of happiness in other people.”
“Without God human love is never perfect. No marriage is truly fruitful without the secret ingredient of divine love. Earthly love that reaches not past the beloved to embrace divinity is not real love at all. It is ego-worship, selfish because it is rooted in desire.”
From Spiritual Relationships:
“Spiritual marriage means union with God, soul and spirit. marriage is not a man-made law. It is God-made. Man has abused the high purpose of marriage. marriage means unity on the physical, mental and spiritual planes. If you attract a person by spiritual magnetism, then you will meet your soul companion.”
“Remember, no Marriage can achieve it’s true purpose unless the husband and wife seek God first, together. In marriage, love also grows by service to each other. When a husband and wife serve each other with the eternal inspiration, of God, that is true spiritual marriage.”
“People who rise above the physical plane and continuously strengthen the love of their souls find their oneness in God. When the love of two persons burns as one flame, then it has intoxicating eternal qualities. That marriage which is lived in self-control and intense spiritual preparation becomes emancipated.”
Namaste, Jamey & Darlene
12 Points for a Successful Spiritual marriage
Meditate together once or twice each day
Chant and sing together.
Create a family altar or meditation room.
Give your partner physical space. Consider separate rooms if practical.
Take seclusion or a retreat alone once or twice a year.
Always give your partner courtesy and respect. Avoid over-familiarity or “letting your hair down” with your partner.
Making sure it is a good time for both, call a meeting to discuss important plans or decisions. Meditate, pray or have a moment of silence before beginning.
Maintain a magnetic and attractive appearance even while relaxing at home.
Resist the temptation to try to change or reform your partner. Lead by example. Your partner has perfect freedom to change or not - it is up to them. You are the only one you can change.
Develop the art of conversation and listening. When does your partner like to talk and when do they like to be left alone to enjoy silence!
If you or your partner become angry allow some time apart in silence to let the anger energy dissipate before working to resolve the issue.
Come together physically occasionally and make it an occasion to celebrate your love.